


Time and Time Again

by PeterTingles4Me



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Sappy, Unhealthy Relationships, struggles, venting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21538870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterTingles4Me/pseuds/PeterTingles4Me
Summary: It hurts to have your heart broken constantly. But, it hurts even more watching the person you love have their heart broken repeatedly.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	1. Time and Time Again

Sitting there nodding my head thoughtfully. A few "Mhmm’s" and "I understand’s" left my mouth. Bucky is standing across from me, pacing across the floor. This isn't anything new. With how often this happens, there should be indentations in the floorboards from Bucky’s footfall. 

“I just... I just hate this feeling. I sacrifice my happiness, but she just gets mad or upset with me. I feel like this is a part of being in a relationship. But the one’s I’ve seen aren’t anything like this.”  
I just keep nodding, thinking to myself how this is nothing new. It’s a routine now. Bucky and Dot fight, Bucky apologizes and takes full responsibility, they make up, rinse and repeat. 

“Buck. Bucky.” I respond, trying to grab his attention. He continues pacing and running his hands through his hair. “James! Stop pacing, damn. You’re leaving marks. Just sit,” I patted a spot on the bed. “Just sit and listen please.”

He sighs and his shoulders droop in defeat. Throwing himself onto your bed, you bounced up a little.

“Buck. This is a cycle.”

He throws his arm over his face and groans. “But it’s my fault this time!”

“It’s not.”

“It is. I should have just talked to her when she called.”

“You were working!!”

“I know, but she wouldn’t have gotten mad at me. I could’ve stepped aside. I just… I try so hard and I don’t know what to do. It seems like nothing makes her happy anymore.”  
I frowned and wring my hands together. It was so difficult restrain myself from reaching out to hold him. 

I loved him. Not as a best friend or brother but actually loved him. The two of you formed a friendship out of nowhere. It started a little bit before him and Dot found each other. She was obviously not a fan of the friendship. Thankfully, Bucky managed to talk to her about you two being just acquaintances. It hurt but it was obvious nothing would ever come of the friendship with Bucky.

“Bucky, are you happy?”

He looked at me, studying my face. 'He's trying to read my mind' I thought to myself. This still caused a small leap in my heart and a stutter in my breathing. “Am I happy?”

“Yes, are you happy? Like in this moment. This past week. The majority of the relationship! Have you been happy?”

Silence. What was seconds felt like days passed between the two of us.

“I…I mean.” He paused, trying to pull his thoughts together.

“Bucky, I am not Dot. You don’t have to watch your words around me.”

“I don’t do that with Dot! It’s just hard. Obviously, I say some things that upset her- “

“I don’t care about her feelings right now. Are you happy?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what to feel. It is just hard. It feels like I am walking on eggshells. No matter where I step, something cracks. I love her, we’ve been together for two years. But, it just feels so different. It’s so difficult.”

“Bucky, I know I am overstepping. You need a break from her. This is a deadly cycle; you’ve been coming to me with this same problem for over a year now! If you’ve already talked about this and nothing has changed... Then what makes you think this time will? I can’t give you a magic phrase to fix this, I’m sorry. But you are just going to keep making yourself miserable.”

Hurt washed over his face. I never spoke such harshness to him before. I usually agreed and told him to talk it over with her. This time I was fed up, I was tired of the visits and having my heart broken. All because his heart is being broken.

Bucky sat up and whispered, “Can I give you a hug?”

I nodded and embraced him. This hug lasted longer than the others. I felt his warmth, smelled his delicious cologne, and felt his soft hair tickle my face. He was holding tightly as if I would slip away, and his hand rubbed my back. “I’m sorry. I’ll leave you alone now.” With that he quickly got up and walked out of the room. 

I sighed and just braced myself for him coming back again. Time and time again he gets hurt but nothing will change anything.


	2. Time and Time Again

The phone buzzed repeatedly, a light flashing indicating that there was a message. Groaning, I rolled away from the phone. Today was my day off, I just wanted to be a sad bed burrito. All wrapped up in my blankets, in my warm pajamas, and sleep the day away. The phone buzzed again.

“Ugh, who wants to talk this early?!” I whined aloud.

Throwing my hand behind me, I flopped it around until I found my phone. Within the few seconds, it buzzed again. The flashing light blinding me.

“Ow, motherfu-, whoever this is. It better be important.”

I looked at the screen and saw a spam of messages from Bucky. Immediately my heart felt giddy and light. But it was instantly replaced with heaviness and dread when I saw the preview of the messages.

‘Hey, I need to talk…’

‘Dot is mad at me again…’

‘Please get back to me…’

A frown settled on my face. Did I really want to answer him right now? Do I want to put my heart on the line, again? The phone buzzed with another message. I sighed and sat up in bed.

“I just wanted one day of relaxing in bed. Let me be a sad burrito!” I yelled at the inanimate object in my hand.

Unlocking the screen and skimming at the messages. There’s no need to do an in-depth reading, I can probably make an educated guess on what Bucky sent. I glanced at the last message. 

‘I need you.’

My heart fluttered at reading this. I know my brain is tricking my heart right now, making it think that he actually needs me. He just wants to use me again. To use me as his therapist... again. My fingers hovered over the keyboard before I composed a message back.

Right before hitting send, a new text message popped up at the top of my screen.

‘Hey, how are you doing? :)’ 

That’s weird. Steve has never really messaged me before. Most of the conversation we had consisted of small talk at work. We never made the efforts to talk outside of work. I decided to investigate this text.

I hastily typed back a reply to Steve. ‘Not much, just hiding in my apartment all day. What’s up?’

As soon as I hit sent, I questioned if I sounded too casual or too formal. Why am I freaking out over a text? My brain tried rationalizing the text. Maybe he had a question about work. On the other hand, my heart was being a dumb bitch and thought that Steve was interested in me. 

Within seconds the response bubble popped up. The three little dots teasing me by rising then disappearing a few times. 

‘Same here. I was wondering if you’d like to get coffee with me?’

A smile grew on my face, a giggle surfaced from me. Why do I feel giddy and childish? Responding back, I accepted his offer.

‘Cool, I will be outside your apartment in 20?’

After confirming the time with Steve, I threw off the comforters and ran to get ready. 

“Don’t let him see the sad burrito. Don’t let him see the sad burrito!” I chanted aloud in the little apartment.

After getting ready, I sat there trying to calm my racing heart. Butterflies floated around in my stomach, the smile was not coming off my face. 

When I walked outside Steve was sitting on his motorcycle. He was looking down and fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket. God, he looked so gorgeous. I'm not sure why I never had this reaction towards him before. Or maybe I did and just didn't want to admit it to myself. 

“Hey, you look great! You ready to go?” He stated as his eyes skimmed me.

I nodded, not trusting my words at the moment. He helped me onto the bike and gently placed a helmet on me. His hands slid down to the clip and fastened it for me. Feeling his rough, warm hands against my face made me blush. 

“All set. Let’s go.” He smiled sweetly and then got ready to take off.

After spending a few hours at a coffee shop, we decided to leave and had a comfortable ride back to my apartment. Right as I was about to thank him, I saw _him_ standing there. Red eyes and tear stained cheeks. A look of pain and disgust ran across his face.

“Where were you? You never texted me back.” He raised his voice at me.

“Woah, dude. Are you okay?” Steve questioned, turning off his bike and propping it.

I gently removed the helmet and climbed off the bike. With each step I took towards Bucky, it felt heavy. Like cement was slowly filling my body. If I love this man, why am I feeling like this?

“Bucky, I’m sorry. Steve just asked to get coffee-“

“Wait, you got coffee with him? When I needed you? I thought we were supposed to be there for each other. I need you.” He frowned at me and quickly wiped away rising tears.

“Look, man. I didn’t know she had prior engagements. If I’d know, I would’ve brought her back sooner. I just thought she needed to get out of the apartment.” Steve piped up.

Bucky glared at him, “Yeah, well she’s mine. I need her. I would be lost without her" He glanced towards me "That’s what I was today, waiting for you here. Lost. Dot and I are fighting again. I just need your help. You always know how to fix this.”

The heaviness settled even more in my chest, “I’m sorry.”

Steve glanced between us, sensing the tension. “You and Dot? I thought you guys broke up.”

“No! It’s just another fight, things are fine! It’s a part of relationships, not like you would know.”

I gasped and shot dagger eyes at Bucky. “Woah, woah. You need to cool it, that was uncalled for. That’s a time out. Inside, now.” I thrusted my finger towards the apartments.

Steve and Bucky had a glare off until I shoved Bucky towards my door. When he finally glanced at me, with the sad puppy dog eyes, my heart broke. He was being used in this relationship but is too scared to leave. 

Bucky walked inside and slowly shut the door behind him. I stood there for a few seconds just so I know he walked away and wouldn’t eavesdrop.  
“I’m sorry about that Steve. I didn’t expect him to show up without me confirming.”

He frowned, “Do you want me to tell him to leave?”

I wrapped my arms around myself and shook my head. “No. It’s okay. He needs someone right now. And that someone happens to be me. I understand what he’s going through, I just don’t want him to be alone like I was.”

“I’m sorry. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to text or call me.”

I nodded and gave a small smiled. “Thank you, Steve. I owe you.”

He shook his head with a half-smile, he reached for my hand and gently kissed the back of it. 

“You don’t owe me anything.”

The heaviness lifted some. I stood there as Steve climbed back on the bike, glancing at my windows before looking back at me. He smiled and waved before speeding off.

I took a deep breathe to prepare myself for another long cry session. As I climbed the stairs, it was there I found Bucky staring down at me. Teary eyes and all. 

A sigh left my body, “Alright, Buck. Lets talk…”


End file.
